Friday, April 29, 2011
if i lend you an article of clothing, it's because i don't want you to be cold. it's not because i want you to get your lunch on it. or your germs. or whatever the fuck that is that's on the seat of the bus. for fuck's sake, what is that? disgusting.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
how could you be so attentive the entire night, filling up our waters and asking how our food is, and then drop off the check and disappear for 20 minutes? how long do you think it takes me to pull out a credit card? it takes about as long as it took me to decide to not give you a tip, you jackass. hurry up.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
cover your fucking mouth when you sneeze! i don't want ebola or tuberculosis or whatever crazy disgusting virus you have that you insist on passing on to everyone within a 5-foot radius because you can't be bothered to put your hand in front of your face. do it again, and i'll squirt purell in your mouth.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
i heard your "joke" the first time, you don't have to keep repeating yourself. i didn't laugh because it wasn't funny. and no, it wasn't because i'm not savvy enough to understand. you're just an idiot.
and here's a tip: don't even bother repeating it when new people join us. they're not going to think it's funny, either. not ever.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
wow, you beat someone up once. you were in 3rd grade and it was your stuffed elephant. that doesn't count, tough guy.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
you think you're so fucking healthy because you do yoga three times a week and you wear your little exercise pants to whole foods and you buy organic everything and you ride your bike uphill. you're also a chain smoker and you drink more beer in a weekend than i did my entire four years at college. get off your high horse.
Friday, April 8, 2011
what part of "ew, never" do you not understand? just because i happen to look in your direction doesn't mean it's a free-for-all come talk to me invitation. i'd rather talk to a dog's ass.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
shit, can you cover your fucking mouth when you cough? i can actually see the fucking spittle fly out of your lips. it's enough that you talk about your cold incessantly, i don't need to actually catch it to know what you're going through. it's super gross, and it's making me dry heave.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
you win, bagel with cream cheese and lox. i never write to you. it's not because i don't care. it's because you literally live 20 minutes away from me. i could walk to your house faster than it would take a letter to get there. ok, so now i don't visit often enough, either? fine! i'm sorry!