Wednesday, November 30, 2011
do you know why you tripped up the stairs at the train station? because you're an overachieving douchebag. only overachieving douchebags walk up those million steps at 8 a.m., rather than take the escalator.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
there aren't too many perks to flying southwest airlines. so when i get on the plane and get a window seat and there doesn't seem to be too many other people boarding, what on earth would make you think that sitting DIRECTLY NEXT TO ME is the proper use of space? don't you know the rules? i sit by the window, you sit by the aisle, and we leave the middle open! the middle seat stays open until the last minute!
Monday, November 28, 2011
i understand that you hate being at this communal table, but please know that EVERYBODY hates being at this communal table. shut the fuck up and find something not complainy to talk about, all passive aggressively and loud.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
i see right through you, you slut. i'm not fooled by your cutesy facebook status updates ("in a perfect world we'd all get what we want all the time. then we'd complain about it, LOL :)"). your smiley emoticons do nothing to hide your true, asshole self.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
how in the actual fuck do you think you can fit onto this bus that already has 400 people in it? you're carrying a ginormous purse and pushing a STROLLER. you're taking up more room than those seven hipsters at the front of the bus. wait for the next one!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
ewww, could you wipe the treadmill after you're done using it? it looks like a fucking water balloon filled with sweat exploded all over this thing. there are paper towel dispensers on every single wall in this stupid germ-infested gym. use one. or 12.
Friday, November 4, 2011
in order to get by me, you had two options: politely say excuse me, or shove past like a fat little bulldozer. clearly you chose the more annoying of the two options, or i wouldn't be writing this.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
listen, lady: people understand how empty seats on the bus work. if they want to sit, they'll fucking sit. you don't have to keep patting the empty seat next to you to let them know that they can fucking sit. they're not blind.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
just because a costume exists in the universe does not mean you need to make it sexy. i get that you're probably not actually a slut, and this is the one time a year that you can show off your body or whatever, but "sexy spongebob" and "sexy sea turtle" aren't actually things. it's really weird.