Thursday, December 22, 2011
clearly you think this movie is funny, christmas cookie. you know how i know? because you KEEP SAYING SO IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING MOVIE THEATER. "this movie is hilarious." "omg, this is so funny." didn't you watch the part in the beginning where the popcorn told you to shut the fuck up?
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
unless you're the mothereffing big bad wolf, don't huff and puff at me. clearly i can't move any faster because there is literally A WALL OF PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME. if you weren't so busy being passive aggressive, you'd have noticed ALL OF THE PEOPLE.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
the waiter seating us next to each other, practically on each other's laps, isn't my fault. i don't even know you. so stop pretending like we're friends, asking me how my meal is, and telling me the guy you're with is a "friend from new york" and "not a boyfriend." it's awkward.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
i'm not digging through this sale rack for my fucking health; i'm digging through because everything is 50% off. can you wait one stupid minute for me to move over before you shove your scrawny self into where i'm standing? this sale rack is meant to be shared. move your skinny arms out of my way, before i take this hanger and smack you in the head with it.